


I don’t care if your balls are itchy please stop yelling (and other things Mitch never thought he’d have to say)

by Noxnoctisanima



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Hockey Big Bang, M/M, Trades What Trades, Useless Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 14:11:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21180755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noxnoctisanima/pseuds/Noxnoctisanima
Summary: Mitch is a teacher and the new guy looks pretty hot. Auston is the new guy and teaching looks kind of terrifying.A story of spitballs and misunderstandings and why the hell anyone would become a teacher in the first place.





	I don’t care if your balls are itchy please stop yelling (and other things Mitch never thought he’d have to say)

**Author's Note:**

> I have blatantly ignored when people were traded because I couldn't stop myself including Patty and Connor and Leo. 
> 
> Forgive any errors with the Ontario school system, I did my best to research.
> 
> Please go see the awesome [Mix](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21177278) from Somehowunbroken

“Teenagers are fucking psychopaths.” Mitch groaned as he sank into the questionable depths of a departmental armchair. 

“You have sophomores again?” Patrick replied, not looking up from his coffee because he’d heard the same thing out of Mitch at least twice a week the entire school year.

“Fucking spitballs,” Mitch complained, kicking his feet up onto a low scuffed table littered with the kind of half-finished worksheets that he always intended to give back to kids but never quite managed to.

Patrick perked up a little. “That’s a new one.” 

“Fucking old one.” Mitch groaned. “No one’s spat spitballs since people unironically liked Justin Beiber.” 

“Mitch, you unironically like Beiber,” Patrick replied with a raised eyebrow. 

Mitch groaned again. “No, my interest in the Beibs is only partially ironic. There is an important difference there. I acknowledge his musical skills and I enjoy some of his songs but I also enjoy the way he...” Patrick cut him off. 

“You’d think you could remain on a topic. I know you manage it in classes.” Mitch blinked at him and then shook himself.

“Oh yeah, fucking Lucas, Chase and John again. You’d think they’d have learnt by now that I am infinitely more of a stubborn asshole than they could ever be.”

“I would never doubt your stubborn asshole ability,” Patrick replied blandly. 

“I will take that as the compliment it obviously was.” 

“You want me to get involved?” Patrick disliked butting in but the head of department money did sometimes come with responsibilities. 

Mitch shook his head. “Nah, I think I’ve got them. I’ve banished them to the corners of the room so they can’t plot, that and I called their mums.” 

Patrick laughed. “No one was such a special Prince that they couldn’t possibly be causing any trouble?” He sometimes wondered if those precious cherubs were actually better at home or if their parents were just willfully blind, he made sure to let his own children’s teachers know that he was aware they were little monsters but he’d do his best to chastise them if they took it too far. 

“No, and I feel like someone’s Playstation is about to end up in parental jail and I’m going to have to try not to look too smug tomorrow when he blames me.” 

“So cruel, weren’t you ever a teenager?” Patrick asked dramatically. 

“Yeah,” Mitch muttered. “And they’re my fucking karma.” 

  
  


So the thing is, Auston was lost. 

The institutional architecture was uniform and labyrinthine and all the same fucking colour. 

Auston was new and lost and officially late for his meeting with his new boss. 

“Can I help you?” The voice absolutely did not make him jump. He turned and stared at a young man, blinked and finally answered him.

“Um, I’m looking for room 203.” 

He perked up and nodded. “Oh yeah, that wing makes no logical sense, I think they added it sometime in the ’80s and didn’t bother to renumber anything.” He pointed to the end of the hall. “Go up there, take a left and then up the stairs. The numbering should make sense from there.”

Auston nodded, looked down the corridor and then back at him. “Thanks. But shouldn’t you be in class?” 

“Nah,” He shrugged, “Grade 11 are off on a field trip and I dodged the bullet on supervising.” 

Auston blinked again, adjusted his assumption of the man’s age, turned red, nodded, and fled down the corridor. 

Mitch smiled to himself. The new Geography teacher was going to be fun. 

  
  


“You met the fresh meat yet?” Mitch asked, sitting down at their habitual table in the corner of the pub. Someone else had sat there once but Mitch’s Friday afternoon brain had been so confused by it that he’d just stood there staring until the intimidated man had gotten up and left. 

“Auston?” Morgan replied, picking through the basket of fries the kitchen knew to half burn for him. “He seems reasonable enough, a bit quiet but pretty solid, the kids might not eat him alive.” 

“Met him in the hallway today. Pretty certain he thought I was a student.” 

“HA!” Jake laughed from behind him, reaching over Mitch’s shoulder to place a beer in front of him. “Not his fault you look like an infant.” He elbowed Naz over and took his seat in the booth next to Morgan. 

Mitch gave him the finger and took a sip of his beer. 

“Kids have rediscovered spitballs.” He commented without inflection after everyone else had also taken their first long sip.

“Of fucking course they have,” Morgan replied after closing his eyes and heaving a massive sigh. “Anyone in particular?” 

“Lucas, Chase and John. Not that it’ll stay there. I spent all afternoon knocking them off the ceiling with a meter ruler I stole from science.” 

“You remember Eloise?” Naz asked, not really waiting for an answer. “She nearly fell off the stage again today. At least yours do stupid shit on purpose.” 

“Falling off a stage might be good for them,” Mitch muttered into his beer. 

“You’re too young to be this jaded.” Leo cuffed him over the back of the head and dragged a chair over. 

“Just because you’ve been doing it for a decade.” Mitch groused in return. 

“Listen to your elders baby Mitchy. No wonder the new teacher through you were jailbait.” 

  
  


Mitch’s backpack was dragging down one shoulder, the other shoulder had a canvas bag full of marking he had to keep shrugging back into place, his lunch was in his left hand and his right desperately clutched his coffee. 

“Good morning.” 

Mitch startled up from where he was breathing in his coffee and blinked idiotically at Auston. 

“Hey…” 

Auston was wearing a sleek overcoat, fashionable toque and had a satchel slung casually over his shoulder. Mitch just blinked at him some more. 

“I didn’t introduce myself yesterday, I’m Auston. I’ll be teaching Geography.” He thankfully didn’t offer his hand as Mitch had visions of dropping his coffee trying to juggle his bags. Mitch replied with an elbow wiggle he instantly regretted.

“Mitch, in English, welcome to the GTA.” Auston looked startled for a moment and Mitch grinned at him. “That’s not a Canadian accent.” 

Auston grinned back at him. “Yeah, Arizona.” Mitch’s eyebrows climbed.

“How are you handling the frozen north?”

Auston hunched down a little more in his coat and Mitch laughed. 

“You’ll have to join us on Friday. We drink down the street after school.” 

Auston was opening his mouth to reply when a girl with vaguely threatening eyebrows slid to a stop next to them. 

“Sir!” 

“Yes?” They both replied. She rolled her eyes at them. 

“Mr Marner, Mr Marleau sent me to get you.” 

“Thanks…” Mitch trailed off in hope she’d supply her name. 

“Sophia.” She supplied with a sarcastic smile. Auston abandoned him to the uncomfortable conversation with a silent wave. 

“Do you know why he wants me?” Mitch asked her, turning towards the building. 

“No.” She replied blandly, following him. 

“And you’re following me because?” 

“He promised me chocolate if I could find you.” 

Ahh, bribery. The currency of teenagers.

After he was presented and exchanged for chocolate he turned to Patrick with a questioning face. 

“What’s so urgent?” 

“Nothing,” Patrick grinned at him. “Just figured you’d forgotten morning meeting again.” 

Mitch stared at him, finished his coffee and followed him down the hallway because yes, he had forgotten, that didn’t mean that he would be giving Patrick the satisfaction. 

The room was already pretty crowded and Mitch slid into the spot Morgan had held for him against the wall, trying not to drop all his bags. 

The crowd parted as Lamoriello and Dubas arrived, Auston following in their wake. 

“Good morning everyone. We have a big week coming up, debate team, football team and scholastic decathlon team are out and we have ten staff at a differentiation workshop on Wednesday, so please support the supply teachers in your departments. A lot of our Grade 11’s were at a party this weekend that ended up on social media so be prepared for the fallout and report anyone sharing inappropriate videos to the vice principal.” Lamoriello nodded towards Dubas. “We also have a new staff member.” He gestured to Auston. “This is Auston Matthews who joined us on Friday from Arizona as a new member of the Geography department, please be welcoming and support him in his new role.” 

Mitch tuned out the rest of the announcements, most of which, as usual, should have been an email. Morgan leant over and whispered to him. 

“If you don’t stop eye-fucking the new guy people are going to notice.” 

“Ha, Ha, fuck off.” Mitch hissed back. 

Morgan cackled quietly until he drew a quelling look from Dubas, then he subsided next to Mitch with a grin. 

  
  


“I was not eye-fucking him.” Mitch hissed as he and Morgan met on the edge of their particular yard duty areas. 

Morgan judged the distance of the nearest students with his eyes and laughed at him again. “You were.” 

Mitch turned his back on Morgan to scan his area of yard again. “I invited him to Friday drinks.” 

He didn't need to be facing Morgan to see the triumphant look on his face. 

“Don’t fucking say it.” 

Morgan’s smile was obvious in his voice. “I didn’t say a word.” He paused smugly for a moment before swearing. “Fuck, got to go.” His voice raised to a bellow. “You better not be thinking of doing what I think you are Michael!” He walked off towards where a boy was just beginning to shimmy up a drainpipe. 

Mitch watched him for a moment, decided he had it in hand and wandered off to see if he was faster than the smokers today. 

  
  


Mitch had decided early on in his career that sharing an apartment was better than never having spare cash for important things like drinking. The only problem with that decision was that he had chosen to become flatmates with Zach, who was one of his best friends and also an asshole. 

Zach was already on the couch when Mitch got home with dreams of a beer and a movie and definitely not marking the essays in his backpack. 

“Hey,” Zach called up the hallway as Mitch shut the door behind him and toed off his shoes.

“Hey ” Mitch replied and wandered into the lounge to see what he was up to.

Zach was watching something on HGTV and idly flicking through proofs for his next book. He looked up when Mitch dropped his bags in a pile near the kitchen and flopped onto the couch. 

“Heard you met a boy.” Mitch sat up straight on the couch and stared at him. 

“How the fuck do you know about that already?” 

Zach laughed at him. Mitch scowled. 

“I never should have introduced the two of you.” 

Zach had been dating one of Mitch’s colleagues since basically the moment they’d met. Willy was a maths teacher, the crush of half the school (faculty included) and looked effectively like a Swedish prince. He was also the second biggest asshole he knew after Zach. They were a match made in heaven. 

“We’re just invested in your wellbeing Mitchy.” He opined with an impressively straight face.

Mitch kicked him. 

Zach laughed at him again. “Is he pretty?” 

“I’m not trying to date him, he’s just a new colleague.” 

“Morgan says you were eye-fucking him.” 

Mitch groaned. “Is there a fucking group chat about my imaginary love life?” 

“Yes,” Zack answered without a pause. “It’s called ‘Mitchel Marner is sad and single’. Jake started it.” 

Mitch sank into the lounge in despair. He slid down until he was almost flat on his back and pouted. 

“It’s not my fault you found the love of your life at nineteen. That is not a realistic expectation.”

Zach patted him on his forehead. “It’ll be alright Mitchy, maybe an American with no idea how to handle the cold is what you needed all along.”

  
  
  


Auston sat at his desk and stared out at the empty chairs. What the fuck was he thinking?

Why had teaching seemed like a good idea?

A head poked through the doorway and Auston was shaken out of his crisis for a moment. 

“Hey. Auston right?” The man had a face so long it looked stretched and very blue eyes. 

“Yeah,” Auston replied. The man obviously took that as an invitation and wandered into the room. 

“I’m Jake, I was at the back when Leo introduced you around the department.”

Auston shook the proffered hand and completely failed to remember him. 

“Nice to meet you.” Auston might not be a good Canadian boy but his mom taught him manners. 

Jake took a seat on one of the desks in the front row. 

“So, how much are you regretting being a teacher today?” He asked with a grin. Auston froze and looked at him for a long moment and then laughed. 

“How’d you know?” 

Jake crooked a smile and rearranged his legs on the table. “I remember my first week.” He paused. “And you have the same asshole sophomores that Mitch wants to kill at least once a week. It was an easy guess.” 

“What do you do with them?” Auston asked, trying not to let the frustration in his voice be so obvious. “The others kids can be difficult but they’re just dicks.” 

“Be more stubborn at calling them on it than they are at doing it.” He shrugged. “That and give them assigned seats and call their parents. Stick it out. Once they realise they can’t chase you out they’ll get a bit easier. Even Chase, John and Lucas, though they will probably always be assholes.” 

Auston laughed a little and rested his head in his hands.

“That wasn’t why I’m here though,” Jake said, interrupting the silence. “In celebration of you surviving your first week, we are going drinking.” He pushed himself up off the table and stared pointedly at Auston until he shoved his laptop into his satchel and pushed out his chair. 

“I thought you drank every Friday.” 

Jake nodded sagely. “Yes and we’re always celebrating. Last week we were celebrating two weeks without Eloise falling off the stage and the week before was Naz resisting the urge to murder his head of department.” He waved dramatically. “All important events to be commemorated.” 

Auston nodded with a grin. “Sounds fair enough.” 

“Yes. Okay then. Let’s get moving. I need a beer and I need it immediately.” 

Auston picked up his satchel. He knew when not to push his luck. 

  
  


“I bring you a fresh offering.” Was how Auston was introduced to the table at large. Jake pointed at each person in turn and Auston would maybe remember two of them in a minute. A couple of guys shifted and he sat down next to Mitch-in-English. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey. How was your first week?”

“Exhausting?” 

Mitch laughed. “Yeah, I remember those days.” A guy with prominent eyebrows Auston thought might have been introduced as a drama teacher stuck his head into the conversation. 

“Mitch. You’ve been teaching for just over a year. Those days were last week.” 

"Fuck off Naz." Mitch elbowed him dangerously close to his beer and shrugged at Auston. “Anyway… I know what it’s like if you need a hand.” He smiled and Auston couldn’t help but smile back. 

“So what brought you to our fine city?” Naz leant around Mitch to ask. 

“I was offered a job.” Auston shrugged. It had actually been that simple.

“You were headhunted?” Jake had apparently been listening in from across the table. His interest drew in everyone else and suddenly Auston found himself facing half a dozen interested looks. 

“Uh… yeah. One of my professors knew someone on staff here and recommended me.” 

“Woah.” Said an older man Auston wasn’t going to have any luck putting a name to. “That’s a lot of expectation to put on a first-year teacher.” 

Auston shrugged. The older man smirked. “Good attitude. Have the sophomores taken any of the confidence out of that?”

Auston laughed ruefully. “They haven’t helped.” 

The other man looked towards Mitch. “You’ll have to commiserate. He’s got your favourite students.”

“Chase, Lucas and John. The first three names I learnt.” Auston added with a rueful nod. Mitch laughed. 

“You wouldn’t be the first. They’ve been terrors since they started.” He smiled and Auston couldn’t help but smile back. “They get you with the spitballs?”

Auston blinked. “Kids still do that?” 

Mitch sighed. “Seems like they saved that one for me especially.”

Auston laughed and could feel himself swaying a little closer to him.

“Share the story?” 

  
  
  


“Sir.” Mitch sighed and considered for a moment pretending he hadn’t heard. 

“Yes, Chloe?” She was a blond girl with a slightly too shrill voice and a habit of bad cell phone concealment beneath the desk. 

“Sir, I need an extension on my essay.” 

Mitch tried not to jump to conclusions but they really were just there in front of him ready to be stepped to. 

“Okay, why do you need an extension?” He asked, turning to face her properly. He could see Jake stop further down the hallway to spectate. 

“Well, I’ve been really busy and it’s really hard and I just need some more time.” 

“Chloe,” Mitch said, looking her firmly in the eye. “When did you get this essay?” 

Chloe dropped her gaze. “Three weeks ago, but…” Mitch cut her off. 

“And how many lessons did we take walking you through the themes in the novel?” 

“Three.” Her voice was getting quieter and her pout more pronounced. 

“And you started your essay when?” 

She huffed dramatically. “Last night.”

“And my answer is going to be?” 

“No.” She met his eyes again, glared and stomped off past him down the hallway. Mitch shook his head and looked up at a laughing Jake. 

“What?” 

“You know I’ve got your high school bud Dylan on Insta right?” 

“Yes, and?” Mitch asked with a raised eyebrow but a sense of unease. 

“He shares all kinds of great stories about high school Mitch and his homework submission record.”

Mitch almost sighed in relief but managed to stop himself lest he let Jake in on a better story. Dylan had blood promised on the story about the underpants, he should remember to trust his friends. He shrugged at Jake. 

“I never claimed to be perfect. I work on a solid ‘do as I say, not as I did’ policy.” Jake snorted and shoved him.

“Come on, I need a cup of coffee.”

  
  


“Mitchel. You have a crush on the new boy.” 

Mitch kind of wanted to say, ‘No I don’t.’ but the part of his brain that kept him from swearing in class kept him safe here too. He decided to maturely ignore the comment. Zach ruined it by laughing at him and singing.

“Mitch and Auston sitting in the tree.” He stopped with a grunt when Mitch elbowed him in the gut. 

“He’s new. I’m just being friendly.” 

Zach just shifted out of elbow range and waggled his eyebrows at him. Mitch scowled. 

“What does it matter anyway, he’s probably straight.” At least twice a day Mitch marvelled that anyone thought he was mature enough to be left in charge of anyone, let alone nearly three dozen teenagers. “He’s from the American South, he’s probably some conservative bible basher.”

Zach looked at him, blinked and rolled his eyes.

“Firstly, fuck you’re dramatic. Secondly, he’s from Arizona, not fucking Alabama, thirdly, he grew up in LA so he’s unlikely to exorcise your demons and lastly, I know too much about a guy I haven’t met yet because our friends are far too invested in getting you laid.”

Mitch squawked indignantly. “I can get laid perfectly fine by myself.” 

Zach laughed in his face and Mitch looked a bit put out. 

“You remember I share an apartment with you right?” 

“It hasn’t been that long,” Mitch replied a little huffily. Zach rolled his eyes at him. 

“I know you organise time in school weeks, so think back. How many weeks ago did you last get laid?” 

He watched Mitch think and then watched Mitch count on his fingers. The boy could analyse the shit out of Shakespeare but he’d never even once correctly calculated a tip without his phone. He watched with amusement as Mitch scowled deeply and put his hands down. 

“It doesn’t matter anyway.” 

Zach laughed at him again. 

“Maybe our friends have the right idea.” He ducked as he said it and retreated back to his bedroom to the sound of Mitch muttering threats and denials.

“Hey, want to see something cool?” 

Auston jerked, startled. There was a tall, aggressively red-headed man looming in his doorway.

“Um,” Was the only answer he could make. The tall man looked irritated.

“Something cool. You in?” 

Auston blinked at him, decided he was vaguely familiar as some member of staff and then looked down at his sleep-inducing pile of marking.

“Why not?” 

The man, who still hadn’t introduced himself, grinned and disappeared back out the door, leaving Auston to scramble after him.

It was already fairly dark in the hallway, even at only four o’clock. The last orange light was casting strange shadows and made the red-headed man look washed out and unearthly. There were very few teachers remaining this evening and the loudest sound outside of their shoes was the hum of a floor polisher in the middle distance. 

They stopped in the hallway outside a science lab and Auston couldn’t help but peek into the tub that was sitting in the middle of it. It looked like a box of Lego and the contents of his junk draw had produced some kind of bastard child. 

It had wheels, it had racing stripes, it had a metal canister as one of its core components. Auston had no idea what he was looking at. 

“What the hell is that thing?”

The red-headed man laughed at him. 

“Prototype, teaching friction and wind drag. It is a compressed air car.” 

He took one of them out of the box and placed it in the middle of the hallway, facing back the way they had come. He pulled out his phone, synched it with the car and took a step back. Auston took two. Then he pressed the button. 

The car exploded up the hallway, veered suddenly to the left and then flipped, finishing spinning upside down while the compressed air ran out.

“I have three more prototypes to test. Want to help?” He asked, grinning, the smile of a man who knew he had the trump card. 

  
  


“You made friends with Intense Science Dude?” Connor asked incredulously (Connor taught PE, they absolutely didn’t hold it against him). Auston looked up from his marking and blinked at the phone shoved in his face. It took him a while to focus enough to identify the video he’d taken the night before of the last prototype’s spectacular crash.

“Yeah, Freddie is pretty cool. He asked me if I wanted to help with some compressed air cars.” 

“Intense Science Dude has a name.” It wasn’t a question but it also didn’t quite sound like a statement.

“Yeah…” Auston replied and glanced pointedly at his marking, he couldn’t figure out where this conversation was going and if it wasn’t going to start making more sense he really had to finish marking these quizzes.

“You don’t understand.” Connor was waving his phone emphatically and, Auston felt, a little recklessly while making his point. “He turned up like a week before you but no one knows him and he’s never come to Friday drinks and he just stares and his thighs are intimidating.” 

Auston stared at him and shook his head a little. 

“Has anyone asked him to Friday drinks?” 

Connor froze. 

“Uh. Possibly not.” He said after a long silent moment. 

“How about I invite him and his thighs then?”

Connor flushed an embarrassed red. 

“Sounds sorted,” Auston replied with a sweet smile. “Now fuck off and let me finish my marking before the Sophomores arrive.” 

  
  


“Why does Connor look like he’s about to faint?” Mitch whispered to Jake who was currently rolling his straw’s paper covering into a tight ball ready to flick at Morgan. Jake glanced up at the spectacle. Connor looked overwhelmed, a little bit shaky, and completely besotted with the new member of their drinking circle. 

“Haven’t you heard him mention Intense Science Dude?” Jake replied with a subtle shrug toward the massive new redhead.

“_ That’s _ Intense Science Dude?” Mitch asked, he wasn’t sure he was expecting a giant man who kind of looked like he might eat people. 

Jake shrugged. “Apparently Auston invited him.”

Mitch wasn’t sure what his face did but it was enough for Jake to raise his eyebrows at him. 

Mitch wasn’t jealous. He didn’t have any claim over Auston. He didn’t get to decide if he dated scary Science teachers. 

“What?” 

Jake raised his hands protectively. “Nothing.” 

Mitch absolutely spent the evening quietly toying with his drink, picking at his beer label and absolutely not overthinking every time Auston and Freddie looked at each other.

  
  
  


“Are you stalking Auston on Instagram again?” Mitch asked Zach who was absorbed in his phone. 

“No. Watching his Snapchat story because unlike some people I can nut up and friend someone on social media.”

“Are you sure Willy is okay with your new beau?” Mitch replied and tried to look over Zach’s shoulder. Zach angled his phone away and raised his eyebrows at him. Mitch huffed.

“You don’t follow a random colleague on Snapchat, it’s weird,” Mitch whined, still trying to look over Zach’s shoulder. Zach locked his screen and turned around on the couch to stare at Mitch. 

“Okay, you’re weird already and it’s Snapchat, not a marriage proposal.” 

Mitch groaned and slid over the back of the couch. “He’s just so _ cool _.” 

Zach took a deep breath and still wanted to slap him. 

“Are you sure you shouldn’t be a Middle School teacher? I’m sure you’d connect so well with the twelve-year-old girls.” 

“Firstly, that’s sexist, secondly, fuck you.” 

Zach did hit him then. 

“Mitchel, your crush is reaching truly ridiculous proportions. Ask the guy out already.” 

Mitch grabbed his arm in mock pain and shook his head. 

“I think he’s already dating someone.” 

Zach raised his eyebrows, that was news to him and he’d been on the man’s Instagram and Snapchat at least three times a day for the last week to get a rise out of Mitch. 

“Really?” 

Mitch leant over his shoulder again and opened Instagram which still had Auston’s recent posts loaded. He pointed to a recent photo of Auston and a tall redhead standing on top of the CN Tower.

“Yeah, Freddie.” He nodded towards the photo. “He’s been in like, half of his posts this week.” 

Zach decided to go with the easy route and didn’t ask how Mitch knew they weren’t just friends. It didn’t matter though, Mitch was obviously done with the conversation and blatantly changed the subject. 

“I’m going to go do some marking then play some COD. You in?” 

Zach sighed and stared at him for a long moment. “Fine. Bring your marking out to the lounge, you can read me the stupid shit.” 

Mitch grinned and bounced off to his room to get his backpack. Zach picked his phone and opened his messages. 

_ Me: I might actually strangle mitch _

_ Willy: frowned upon you trip over his shoes in the hall again? _

_ Me: He’s spent 3 weeks mooning over the new guy _

_ Willy: ahhhh auston. dw weve got a plan. want in? _

“What’s got you so happy?” Zach looked up from his phone and grinned at Mitch who was clutching a slightly battered pile of papers. 

“Nothing, just Willy.” Mitch gagged and Zach smiled. 

_ Me: count me in. _

  
  


“This is your plan?” Zach asked, incredulous. “Where are you getting your ideas from, teen movies?” No one met his eyes. 

“Not totally?” Jake muttered. 

“For fuck’s sake, how are any of you responsible enough to be in charge of children?” 

“That’s the trick,” Patrick spoke up from the far corner of the table where he was leaning back in his chair and smirking. “They’re not kids, they’re teenagers and you have to be a bit crazy to want to spend five days a week with them.” 

Zach stared at him and then at the other four people in the room. “What are you even doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be a good influence as head of department, not encourage your underlings to lock two of their colleagues in a closet?”

Patrick dropped his chair back onto all four legs, stared directly into Zach’s eyes and said, “Nah. This is much more fun.” 

Zach stared back at him for a long moment, shook his head in confusion and changed tack. 

“Okay, so you all know Mitch right.” He got a general nod from his audience. “What do you see coming from locking someone in close quarters with him with no escape route?” 

His audience looked thoughtful. “Ah.” Naz finally said. “Didn’t think of that.” 

“Well no, Nazem, I have a feeling this whole plan has been brought to us by the powers of not thinking.” 

The audience had the good judgement to look sheepish, except Patrick who just continued to look entertained. 

“Has anyone,” Zach asked after a few long moments of silence. “Considered just telling Auston that Mitch likes him?”

There was a collective scowl. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Morgan asked.

There was a general noise of agreement in the group. Zach hated all of them.

  
  


“Hey.” 

Auston looked up from his careful focus on the snow on the pavement and smiled at Mitch. 

“Good morning.” He chafed his hands against the arms of his jacket, they were cold even in his gloves. He deeply regretted finishing his coffee so early. Mitch grinned at his less than subtle response to the cold. Mitch’s coat hung open and his scarf was draped over his shoulders rather than cocooning his neck like Auston’s. 

“I’d like to see you handle an Arizona summer.” 

Mitch laughed and matched his steps to Auston’s.

“And that is why I won’t be moving to Arizona.” 

“How are our favourite Sophomores going?” Mitch asked after a moment of silence. 

Auston grimaced. “I’ve given them detention every lesson this week.” 

“That good.” Mitch winced in sympathy. “You tried calling parents yet?” 

Auston looked a little shifty. Mitch cut his eyes over to him and laughed. 

“Don’t like making phone calls?”

“No!” He burst out along with Mitch’s laughter. “Why can’t I just email?” 

“You try convincing Lou of that. I’ll wait.” 

Auston met Mitch’s grin, Lou was famous for his response to questions he thought were stupid, Auston had been on staff for less than a week before Jake had warned him.

  


_ “If you ever need to bring a suggestion or request to Lou, run it through Dubas first.” _

_ “What?” Auston asked, looking up from his marking. _

_ “If you ever have anything to ask Lou, check with Dubas first. It’ll be less psychologically damaging. Lou is very direct.” Auston arched an eyebrow at him so Jake continued. “He looks at you like he thinks you’re the least intelligent person in the world and just says ‘No’ and then goes back to whatever he was doing before you invaded his office.” _

_ He nodded to himself. “Walking back out after that is rough.” _

  


“I don’t think Jake will ever really get over it.” 

Mitch laughed again and Auston couldn’t help but notice the soft skin under his jaw as he threw his head back.

“It’s not Lou’s fault Jake is a sensitive soul,” Mitch replied, deadpan.

“Gardiner just likes to whine.” A dry voice broke in. 

“I guess you’ve never asked a stupid question then.” Auston greeted Freddie who had caught up to them as they meandered into school. 

“No.” He replied, dryly. Auston laughed and bumped knuckles with him.

“Always perfect.” 

“Exactly,” Freddie replied with a smug grin. 

“Sorry, I have to finish something before class,” Mitch said with a slightly strained smile and took off, his long legs quickly eating up the rest of the distance to the building. 

“Huh,” Freddie said as he watched him go. “Stop with me for coffee?” His question startled Auston who had been watching Mitch hurry away. His hands felt colder than ever. 

“Yeah. Sure. Sounds like a good idea.” 

  
  


Auston wasn’t sure when his kind of thing for Mitch had become an actual thing. It probably had been somewhat prompted when Freddie had looked at him one afternoon from where he had joined Auston in his office to mark.

“Are you ever going to make a move on the skinny, twitchy dude?”

It said something that Auston didn’t even bother asking him who he meant. 

Auston shrugged. “He’s been a bit cold lately.” Freddie raised his eyebrow at him.

“You realise he thinks you’re sleeping with me right?” 

“What?” 

Freddie laughed at him and wrote a grade at the top of his most recent quiz. 

“You haven’t noticed?” 

Well, he hadn’t but in hindsight, he had seen a few glares he hadn’t understood. He shrugged at Freddie. 

“It’s all good though, he’ll get over it. I’m going to take Connor out. He’ll figure it out eventually.” 

“Connor?” Auston asked. “I think he thinks you’ll eat him.”

“Yeah.” Freddie shrugged and then grinned wickedly. “But only if he asks nicely.” 

  
  


Sometimes Mitch thought he’d write a book. Not a novel, or a thoughtful reference book for teachers. No, Mitch thought he’d write a book called, ‘_Things I Never Thought I’d Have to Say to Another Human Being.’ _ The conversation he’d just had was probably going to be part of it. 

  


Mitch’s class of Freshmen had lost their wide-eyed ‘small fish in a big pond’ look weeks ago and were turning into the terrors only fifteen-year-olds could be. He had the unfortunate luck of attempting to teach them _A_ _Midsummer Night’s Dream_ while fending off ‘Why do we have to learn this?’ whines at every turn. That being said, they weren’t actually a bad class, particularly in the morning, they were just loud. Mitch had a high tolerance for noise and a loud voice but they managed to push even his tolerances. 

Alex was his biggest problem. The boy had no volume control and less filter. Mitch had been trying to minimise his volume all year but nothing seemed to be working. He’d even tried marking every time he’d had to shush Alex in a lesson but he ran out of paper twenty minutes in. 

Mitch was crouched down in front of Gemma, one of his favourite students (every teacher has favourites, if they say they don’t it just means it’s not you), helping her understand the difference between ‘thou’ and ‘thee’ when he heard Alex yell across the room. He sighed, stood and turned. 

“Alex. I’ve asked you to stop yelling.” 

“But sir, my balls are itchy.” Mitch blinked at him, ran the sentence through his brain again, got the same meaning and blinked again. Then his mouth automatically replied. 

“I don’t care if your balls are itchy. Stop yelling.” 

Alex grumbled at him but subsided and Mitch turned back to Gemma. A few moments later he was back to explaining Early Modern English pronouns but his mental self was running back over the words and marvelling. 

  
  


Auston put the phone down, blinked and stared into space for a moment. Leo peered at him from across the room. 

“You okay?” 

Auston shook himself and looked up. 

“Uh, yeah, I just called Lucy’s grandmother about her homework. I think the woman must have been an interrogator at some point. I feel like I’ve been under the bright light for half an hour.” 

Leo laughed. “Yeah, some of them can be like that. Better than the ones who shout at you because there’s no way their precious little child could have done what you said they did. My favourites are the ones who are honest about their little assholes. You called Chase’s mum yet?” 

Auston shook his head. He’d been trying to but he kept getting voicemail. 

“You’ll like her. First time Mitch called her he told her that Chase had been being rude, refusing to do his classwork, yada yada and the woman replied with, I shit you not, ‘God he’s being such an asshole lately, I’ll yell at him tonight and take away his PS4. Thanks for the call.’ She’s a good one.” He looked thoughtful. “Not that it seems to make a difference with Chase though, he’s still as much of an asshole as he was at the beginning of the year.” He shrugged, then he looked thoughtful.

“If you’re still having trouble with him you should hook up with Mitch, maybe between the two of you you’d have some more luck.” 

Auston coloured a little, glad of his slightly darker skin hiding most of his blush. It was just a bit of a crush, no big deal. 

Leo looked at him speculatively and just smiled. 

“Or maybe you should hook up for other reasons.” 

  
  
  


Auston had Google translate open and an increasing sense of doom. He groaned and let his head fall into his hands. 

“You alright?” A concerned voice asked from the doorway. Mitch looked worried and Auston had trouble not being charmed by it. 

“Uh, textbook company sent me the French version of their order form rather than the English and I’m a bit lost.”

Mitch nodded understandingly and wandered over to look over Auston’s shoulder. Auston could smell him. 

“Your technical French not great?” Mitch asked, leaning ever more over his shoulder to look closer at the screen.

“Uh,” Auston started, his train of thought a little difficult. “More like non-existent. We did Spanish at school. Easiest A I had with mom speaking it at home.” 

“Never let the children know that,” Mitch said urgently, gripping his shoulder. His hand rested there for a long moment before he removed it abruptly. “They will use it against you.” 

“Yeah…” Auston replied and the silence stretched a bit, neither of them seemingly knowing what to say next. 

“Want some help with the form?” Mitch abruptly asked as the silence became uncomfortable. 

Auston was suddenly reminded of why he was groaning at his computer in the first place and reddened. 

“Uh, yeah, that’d be great.” He replied, his face fixed on the screen to hide the flush on his cheeks. Mitch leant forward again and balanced one hand on Auston’s shoulder so he could lean over and point out something on the screen. 

“This is the title of the book.” He pointed again. “And this is quantity.” 

Auston took a deep breath, and a moment to enjoy the contact and then ignored it. 

“Okay. So what does this bit say?” 

  
  
  


Mitch was already on his third beer and was working his way up to the kind of hungover marking that made his Seniors hate him. He and Willy had been arguing for the last twenty minutes about whether the Dark Knight trilogy made up for the other shitty DC movies.

“They are _ so _ bad though, at least the worst Marvel movies have redeeming features. No one can tell me that Green Lantern was anything but terrible.” 

“Are you telling me then that you didn’t go see Aquaman.” Willy stared at him. 

“No! Not in cinemas, with Marvel I can bet I’m going to see something at least entertaining. DC can’t promise me that. I’ll see it when it’s on Netflix.” 

“I’ve got it on DVD.” 

Mitch hadn’t realised Auston was even there, let alone listening to the conversation.

“You should come around some night, watch it.” 

Mitch’s stomach fluttered like a fucking teenager before he forced himself to see Freddie sitting next to Auston and tell himself to calm the fuck down. 

“Yeah, maybe.” He shrugged noncommittally, watching Freddie’s reaction so much he missed the flash of disappointment in Auston’s.

  
  


“You got my PS4 confiscated.” Auston looked up from his marking to see Chase standing in front of his desk. He’d been so absorbed in the truly impressive misunderstanding of coastal erosion in the essay he was marking and had missed his entrance. 

“I think you’ll find that your behaviour got your PS4 confiscated,” Auston replied, looking up at him blandly. 

Chase took a step closer to the desk so he was standing over Auston who had to look up at him. 

“If you hadn’t called my mum…” He was staring down at Auston, his face red and his fists clenched. Auston wasn’t letting this go any further. He stood up. 

Chase was sixteen but he hadn’t had his full growth spurt yet and Auston was 6’1 and had inherited his dad’s broad shoulders. He looked down at him. 

“What do you possibly think this is going to accomplish?” 

Chase’s jaw clenched and his mouth twisted. Auston just blinked passively back at him, awaiting his answer. There were a few silent beats and Chase deflated. 

There was a quiet mutter of someone that could have been “Sorry sir.” and he turned tail and disappeared down the hallway leaving Auston blinking after him feeling strangely deflated. 

  
  


“Have any of the three musketeers ever tried to threaten you?” 

Mitch put his glass carefully down on the table and turned to Auston. 

“What?” His tone was off enough to draw in Naz, Morgan and Jake. 

Auston shrugged, feeling uncomfortably on the spot with the attention.

“I just had a weird interaction with Chase this afternoon.” 

He felt Jake nudge Leo further down the table and flushed at the greater attention. 

“Define weird ” Mitch asked, his voice flatly calm.

“He came into my classroom and blamed me for his mom taking his PS4 away. Tried to stand over me. He left when I stood up and he remembered I was bigger than him.” He tried to shrug off their silent looks. “It wasn’t a big deal.” 

“Ah, yeah, yeah it was,” Jake replied, his face a little grim. “This is the kind of thing you have to tell someone.” 

Auston shifted awkwardly, he hadn’t wanted to make a big deal over it.

“It’s not that serious, he didn’t actually do anything.” 

He could feel the emotion move around the group but it was Naz who spoke. 

“It might not be with you but if he’s willing to try this with a guy who’s obviously bigger and stronger than him, what do you think he’ll try with others?” He didn’t say Mitch's name, didn’t so much as glance in his direction but Auston could hear what he wasn’t saying. 

_ ‘If he’ll try this with you, what might he try with Mitch?’ _

Auston swallowed and then the sombre mood was broken by an indignant squark. 

“Oh fuck off you lot, I’m not a damsel in fucking distress.” Mitch looked irritated and their spectators already looked amused again. 

“‘Course not Mitchy.” Jake ruffled his hair. “You’re just a little more delicate than we are.” 

“I’m as tall as you are!” Mitch replied. Jake laughed. 

“Height doesn’t matter when you’re a stick insect.” 

Mitch shoved his hand off his shoulder and glared at him. Auston wanted to say something but knew he’d spend all evening regretting anything he said.

There was a long pause in the conversation and it seemed everyone had moved on until Leo came up behind him on the way to the bar and spoke softly in his ear. 

“We’ll talk about it more tomorrow, he needs to know he can’t pull shit like that.”

  
  


The thing about teaching, Auston had discovered, was that the amount of paperwork a kid getting in trouble required was almost more work than just letting them slide. He’d told Naz this who replied that he was ahead of the curve and it usually took new teachers much longer to figure that one out. 

Auston spent his entire planning period on Monday writing a statement and hunting down Leo and then Dubas to give it to. 

By the time Leo stuck his head into his classroom after last period Auston had almost forgotten about it.

“Chase has a suspension warning.”

Auston looked up, startled. 

“And I think his mother might actually kill him, so hopefully that’ll work out.”

“Okay.”

Leo watched him silently for a long moment. 

“If he tries to pull something like that again, send him to me.”

“Okay.” Auston replied. 

Leo stared at him again as if expecting another response. Auston just looked back at him, confused. Finally Leo huffed. 

“Whatever, go home.” 

“Okay.”

Leo left.

  
  


“Phone in your bag now Ruby.” It was probably the sentence Mitch said more than any other in the classroom after ‘Please be quiet’. 

Ruby huffed and started to slip her phone into her pocket. 

“No. I said your bag.” 

She rolled her eyes. “I was just texting my mum.” 

Mitch sighed and crouched down beside her desk. 

“Ruby, I am 24, not 400 and I know what Snapchat looks like. Put your phone in your bag.” He stood up and stared at her until she did too, then turned to the person behind her. “You too Riley, no one’s lap is that interesting.” 

He loved when kids thought that just because he was a teacher he didn’t spend half of his free time playing Xbox and watching stupid shit on his phone, also, he was far better at hiding his phone than they were. 

  
  


“Intense Science Guy is going to eat me.” Mitch caught the statement, put his drink down next to Naz and joined the conversation. 

“And by eat you mean...?” Jake let his question trail off meaningfully.

“I mean grind my bones to make his bread, like feed me up and throw me in the oven when I'm fat and juicy,” Connor replied, not seeming to realise the incongruity of looking kind of excited by that. 

“And why do think Freddie has become a cannibal?” Jake asked, his chin resting on his hand. Morgan snorted beside him.

“He’s looking at me!” Connor gestured widely while Mitch and Morgan grinned at each other. “He keeps staring at me and like popping out from behind walls!”

Mogan opened his mouth to say something sensible and logical and then grunted as Jake’s elbow caught him under the ribs. 

“He’s going to crush me with his intimidating thighs and his piercing eyes.” Connor continued wailing. 

“Or maybe I just want to date you.” 

Connor froze and looked up to where Freddie was standing with a beer in his hand and a smirk on his face. 

Connor squeaked. 

“Uhh…” 

Freddie grinned at him again.

“I promise I’m not going to eat you unless you ask me to.” Freddie smiled as he took a long drink of his beer, looking at Connor over the rim. 

Connor went red. 

“Dinner?” He asked, his voice only a little weak and the question could almost entirely be understood as asking clarification for the kind of date, rather than disbelief. 

“Sounds good to me,” Freddie replied. 

“Freddie!” Naz called and Freddie glanced over. “Come solve an argument.” Freddie held a hand up as if to say ‘give me a minute’.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Seven?” He asked, his eyes back on Connor.

“Okay.” Connor blinked at his again and then snapped back into focus. “Don’t you need my number?” 

Freddie smiled. “Got it from Auston weeks ago. See you tomorrow Connor.” 

Connor watched him go, transfixed. 

“Huh.” 

  
  


Mitch fell heavily onto the couch and groaned. Zach looked up from his phone.

“What’s got you being a dramatic shit then?”

Mitch groaned again and held a pillow over his face for a moment before he realised he couldn’t breathe and the pillow smelled of feet.

“Auston isn’t dating Freddie.”

“Yeah, I know, I’ve been telling you that for three weeks,” Zach replied without sympathy, it really had been a pathetic few weeks, Mitch did not pine well. 

“I’ve been blowing him off, ‘cause I thought he was with Freddie.” He threw his head back dramatically. “He asked me if I wanted to watch a DVD with him and I completely palmed him off.” 

Zach looked down at his dramatics and rolled his eyes. 

“Did it ever occur to you that he might have been asking you out?” 

“Obviously not at the time Zachary!” Mitch snapped back. “And even if he was I’ve ruined it now.” He lay his hand dramatically over his forehead, Zach took a picture of him and sent it to the other idiots who had also decided to be invested in his trash-fire lovelife. 

_ finally figured out Auston’s not with Freddie and hes been blowing him off _

The replies came fast. 

_ We told him _

_ Shitty at listening _

_ Poor baby mitch _

Zach kept his phone on silent because Jake liked to send middle of the night snaps of the moon and he valued his sleep, but it was also useful for talking about Mitch.

_ Any ideas? _

  
  


Look, Patrick loved a good bit of chaos and Mitch’s lovelife had been a perfect dose of it in his everyday life but this was going too far even for him. No one really deserved having Gardiner and Reilly and Kadri set on them trying to be _ helpful _, especially not someone looking as much like a kicked puppy as Mitch did. 

Patrick did not have patience for pining and now Mitch was doing it all over the lunchroom. It really was pathetic but he knew better than to try and cheer Mitch up, he’d just get more miserable out of spite. 

Auston, while a still mostly unknown quality, was a safer bet. 

“Hey.” He sat his beer down next to Auston’s and sank into the booth next to him. 

“Hey.” Auston replied, eyes darting back from where he’d been staring at Mitch. 

“You know, the two of you are about as useless as anyone I've ever met.” He commented nonchalantly as he took the first sip of his beer. Auston’s eyes snapped back from where they’d drifted to Mitch again to stare at him. 

“Excuse me?” He looked like he was trying to decide if he’d been insulted or not. 

“You’re like something out of a romance novel, always coming up with stupid reasons you can’t be together. Trust someone who managed to marry the most beautiful girl around and convinced her to stick around. Just ask the idiot out.” He gave Auston a very pointed look and then cut his eyes over to Mitch. Auston coloured a little and ducked his head. 

“I don’t…” Auston started, Patrick interrupted him. 

“Don’t insult my observation skills, you two are as subtle as a pair of fifteen year olds and I’ve spent my entire career watching those train wrecks.” He made pointed eye contact with Auston. “Mitch is pining all over my lunch break and I can’t handle it anymore. Just ask the boy out, we both know you want to.” 

Auston gaped at him a little, not sure how to answer. Patrick figured he’d done enough and gave Auston an out from the conversation. 

“So, first-year teacher. What is standing out the most?”

Auston grasped the change in subject like a man scrabbling for a handhold on a collapsing cliff. 

“Kids are more frightening than I remember.”

Patrick laughed. “That’s because it’s thirty to one and you used to be part of the thirty, now you’re the one. Very different position.” 

“I also don’t think we would have dreamed of saying half the things these kids say to me.” He looked ernest and thoughtful and Patrick couldn’t help but laugh at him again. 

“Now you sound like a teacher.” 

  
  
  


“You are pathetic and depressing.” Zach kicked him in the ankle as it hung over the armrest of the couch. 

“I’m moping, leave me alone,” Mitch replied, looking up at the ceiling and posing dramatically. Zach kicked him again. 

“It’s Sunday and you haven't showered. Your moping is starting to impact all of us.”

“But I was an idiot.” 

Zach sighed and shoved his knees to the side to sit on the armrest of the couch and look down at Mitch. 

“Leaving aside the brilliant opening that I’m going to ignore because I’m a good friend, yes you were dumb and jealous and jumped to conclusions. Say you’re sorry and ask him out. The worst that can happen is he says no and you can get over it and stop being a hygiene hazard.” He patted Mitch on the ankle. “Anyway, I’m going to go have sex with my boyfriend. Ask out your American or go have rebound sex, anything is better than this shit.” He pushed himself up and left, slamming the apartment door behind him. 

  
  


It was actually really easy to avoid another teacher when you worked in different departments. Mitch saw Auston across the room in the Monday all staff meeting and twice at a distance when he ducked into a classroom to avoid him. 

It wasn’t that Mitch was avoiding him because he didn’t want to see him. It was just that the awkwardness of the conversation that they were going to have made his skin crawl. 

He even considered avoiding Friday drinks before he realised that if there was ever a week he needed a beer it was this one. 

It was with a strangely disappointing relief that he realised that Auston wasn’t in the room when he arrived. Patrick was giving him the same judgemental look he’d been throwing at him all week and Jake, Morgan and Naz had their heads together. Mitch was almost tempted to go home. 

Leo seemed the safest option but Mitch could feel his raised eyebrow as he sat down next to him rather than with the other ‘children’. It was a two beers at a time night and he drained the first one quick enough to give him headspin and was sipping more slowly at his second when Auston arrived. 

Mitch slid down in his seat, hiding his face behind his beer and watching Auston as subtly as he could manage, glancing away every time he looked in his direction. Mitch froze when he looked back up and Auston was smiling at him. Auston stepped towards him and Mitch’s flight instinct kicked in. He almost stood up but Leo grabbed him by the shoulder and held him down in his seat. 

“I am not watching another week of this bullshit. Nut up Marner and deal with it.” Leo pushed himself out of his chair with one hand still on Mitch’s shoulder and nodded Auston to the spot he was just vacating. 

“Asshole.” Mitch hissed as Leo stepped away from the table and Auston sat down beside him, still smiling. 

“Hey.” 

Mitch cringed inside even as he responded. 

“Hey.” 

“Haven’t seen you much lately.”

Mitch’s inner voice was chanting _ Fuck, Fuck, Fuck _by this point and his skin felt like it was ready to crawl right off this trainwreck.

“We should hang out, catch up, maybe see a movie.” 

Hold up, hold the fuck up. Mitch’s surprise snapped back so quickly it might as well have concussed him. Auston was giving him an out. Mitch might just have to marry the man. 

“Yeah. Maybe tomorrow?” It was okay, Mitch had perfected fake it ‘till you make it within a month of teaching and he was king of keeping that emotional turmoil locked down. 

“Cool.” Auston was still smiling at him but it was no longer making Mitch nauseous to look at. “Did you hear the latest thing Dubas had to ban the kids from doing in Tik Toks?”

Mitch leant in. “No, any more ridiculous than hanging off the second-floor balcony?”

Jake, Morgan and Naz were giving him exuberant thumbs-up behind Auston’s back and Mitch ignored him because apparently it wasn’t just Zach, he attracted assholes for friends. 

Mitch was sitting cross-legged on a desk in Auston’s classroom using an answer key to help Auston get his marking finished. The less work Auston had for the evening was more time for a date. It was a win for everyone. 

Dating Mitch was going really well, the kind of really well that made Auston feel like even more of an idiot for needing Patrick to get him moving in the first place. 

“Are you ever tempted to make a quiz where every answer is A, just to watch them panic?” Mitch asked without looking up from the paper he was marking. Auston liked when Mitch marked the multiple choice. He always second guessed himself when the smart kids got the same answer and it wasn’t his. 

“Maybe all ‘A’s until two thirds through when you put one ‘C’ instead.” 

Mitch looked up from his paper and threw Auston an amused look. “Fucking evil. I knew I liked you for a reason.” Mitch looked back at the paper contemplative. “You ever wonder if kids can figure out your pattern? I mean, I try to be random but I know I like ‘C’, there’s probably at least an extra ten percent chance I’ve put it as C.”

Auston opened his mouth to answer when someone knocked on the doorframe. Both of them looked up and Auston’s half glance back at Mitch revealed a raised eyebrow. 

“How can I help you Chase?” 

The tall boy shuffled in looking like he had cancer of the puppy. Mitch stayed on his desk and watched with amusement as Chase stopped beside Auston so he didn’t have to put his back to Mitch.

“Uh...Mr Matthews, I need to apologise.” He talked to his shoes and he was blushing. Auston was so tempted to tell him to do it but settled for waiting him out in silence. 

“I was aggressive and rude and it’s not okay to treat someone like that, especially someone who is trying to help me.” Chase told his shoes. It had the ring of a parental lecture with the pronouns changed. 

“Thank you, Chase.” Auston replied. “I hope to see this attitude reflected in your class behaviour from now on.” Chase nodded and turned to leave before pausing. “You’ll tell my mum I apologised, right?” 

Auston fought a smile. “Yes. I will tell her if she asks.” 

Chase nodded jerkily and fled the room. Mitch waited for his feet to echo down the hallway before he burst out laughing. 

“That was a fucking priceless gift.”

Auston grinned back at him. “Think he’s ever getting ungrounded?” 

Mitch’s eyes flicked down the hallway and then back to Auston. “Not likely.” 

Auston laughed as Mitch looked back at the answer key he was using. “I’ve got to ask you something.” 

Auston looked up at him, his voice was suddenly more serious. 

“Sure.” 

Mitch lifted the answer key again and turned it to show Auston. 

“Did you mean to spell AC/DC in your answer key or am I just that good at spotting patterns?” 

  
  


“Shove over, you’re hogging the bench with your fat ass.” Mitch kicked at Jake’s ankle until he shuffled close enough to Morgan for Mitch and Auston to fit in the booth. 

Morgan patted Jake on the shoulder. “It’s okay dear, I like your fat ass.” This escalated into enough of a shoving match that Mitch and Auston lifted their beers out of elbow range. 

“Well, this looks collegial,” Freddie remarked as he pushed his way into the other side of the booth, Connor behind him. 

“We’re very professional adults don’t you know.” Morgan remarked as he pushed Jack off with a hand over his face. 

Freddie saluted him with his glass and Auston finally noticed the small forest in front of Connor. 

“Enough beer there Mr Brown?” 

Connor picked up the first and drank it down in long pulls until it was done and he placed it next to the four others. 

“Fucking sex ed, fucking condoms, fucking bananas, fucking Freshmen.” He muttered before picking up his next beer. Freddie smiled at him and answered Auston’s unanswered question. 

“Teaching fifteen year olds to put condoms on bananas.” 

Auston imagined his Freshmen class who still giggled at the word erect and winced in sympathy. 

“Yeah, I’ll stick to Geography.” 

Connor muttered and started in on his next beer. 

Patrick wandered up and started dolling out drinks to anyone who didn’t have one. 

“Let’s toast today to having only one more week before break and not having killed any of them.”

There was a ragged cheer and everyone drank heartily. Patrick dragged a chair over to the end of the table and sat down heavily. 

“One week is still too long.” 

The conversation flowed and when Mitch was drawn into a conversation with Jake and Morgan Auston just sat and watched the others. Patrick had obviously been doing the same thing and turned his gaze on him. 

“One term almost done,” Partick commented. “How does it feel? Teaching still seem like a good idea?” 

Auston picked up his beer and looked at Freddie and Connor gesturing wildly at each other, Morgan, Jake and Mitch getting increasingly dramatic in their explanation of something that required the use of napkins and the drinks menu and the other similarly crowded tables of teachers around them. He thought about Chase and Lucas and John, the idiotic and depressing essays he got from his seniors and the amount of times he’d said: “Please don’t touch that.”. He looked back at Patrick. 

“Yeah, I think it does.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell about things with me on [Tumblr](https://noxnoctisanima.tumblr.com/)


End file.
